In Which Dave and Karkat Engage in the City Bus Game
by Mutant of Time
Summary: "Karkat motherfucking Vantas. Get up. We are going to play the City Bus Game." The city bus game happens to be something invented by a certain Dave Strider as he is bored, and doesn't want study for finals. Deciding to drag his boyfriend with him, the city bus game begins, and hilarity ensues. Rated T for language and mild sexual content (for now). Written as a warm-up for HSWC.


**AN: So hey guys, it's been a while, hasn't it? I guess I'm back up on my feet? A little bit, at least. Anyways! This is just something I did as a little warmup for HSWC (Homestuck Shipping World Cup) about a month ago. Prompt was given to me by davekathugs on tumblr, and it was "Games". So yeah, here's a little DaveKat thing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck, nor the cover image.**

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"Karkat motherfucking Vantas. Get up. We are going to play the City Bus Game," you announce to the troll in the room as you stand abruptly, reaching for your hoodie. You fully expect Karkat to do the same, and when he doesn't, you huff.

"Dude, what are you waiting for? Get a sweater, we're going out!"

"Dave, what the hell is the 'City Bus Game'?"

"Uh, yeah man I'll explain when we get out there. If I take the time to explain now, we're gonna miss the first bus."

It's funny, the way Karkat sighs. When he gets up to get his sweater, you know he's just humoring you. Well, maybe he's _also_ tired of studying for college finals, maybe he needs a break too. Yeah, that's probably it.

As the two of you leave the dorms, you double check to make sure you have your phone, keys, and wallet. You don't need to make that mistake again.

You and Karkat set out on the streets, and you begin explaining to Karkat what the City Bus Game is.

"You see man, the point of it is to catch the first bus you can and go three stops. Then you get off, and catch the first bus after that. Go three stops, get off. It goes on and on."

"I don't actually see the point in that," Karkat mumbles, crossing his arms. "All it does is get you lost."

"No," you correct him. "What it does is get you familiar with the area. Not only that, but if you stop near stores, you can go in there and buy shit. Actually, yeah, that's part of it too. You're supposed to buy the weirdest shit from stores and try to creep people on the buses out."

"Dave, I have a feeling you're literally just making this up as you go," Karkat accuses, but he makes no attempt to stop you from doing it.

You shrug, the tips of your ears going red with guilt. Okay, so maybe you _are_ just making this up.

Either way, it's not hurting anyone, and it's giving both of you a much needed break.

"So?" you reply, "It's not like we have anything better to do."

"I can think of a lot of things better than this horseshit game! Say, studying for our fast approaching finals?"

"Oh hush, you can't study forever. A few hours of fun never hurt anyone."

Karkat rolls his eyes aggressively, but goes along with it anyways.

You approach the nearest bus stop and wait until a bus arrives. The two of you board after paying your fare and getting transfer tickets, and then find seats on the mostly empty vehicle. Karkat crosses his arms in clear annoyance, but you can see his eyes, a different emotion in them. Curiosity.

Three stops later, you and Karkat get off of the bus. You really aren't that far from the dorms, and you know this area well, but rules are rules. You drag Karkat into a familiar mini market, and contemplate on what to purchase once inside.

"So Karkat, what do you think is gonna freak people out the most?"

Karkat's reply is a silent shrug, and you bump his shoulder with yours. "You're a helpful one, aren't you?"

You've turned your back to examine a row of oddly shaped back scratchers when something hits your own back.

You turn around, ready to snap at whoever threw it at you, when you realize it was just Karkat. He tilts his head down to the floor, where the item fell after bouncing off your back, and you pick it up. It's literally a super ball designed to look like a bloody eyeball. It's about the size of your hand, and upon examining it, you grin.

"This is so perfect, dude."

"I know," Karkat replies smugly.

You check out rather quickly, with the cashier giving you both an ominous look of which you ignore, and you're on your way.

It's about 10 minutes before the next bus arrives, and the time waiting for it is spent by bouncing the eyeball between yourself and Karkat. At one point, you give the ball a particularly hard throw, and it bounces into the street. Of course Karkat makes you retrieve it, resulting in a close-call collision with a bicyclist who is quick to curse you out. You shrug it off though, returning to the troll soon enough just as the next bus arrives.

You and Karkat scan your transfers and are allowed onto the bus, this time quite full. You don't mind standing, but Karkat seems quite uncomfortable with such close contact with other people.

You put your arm around him, which he blushes at, but you don't miss the way he leans into you. Your support means a lot to him, and you know this, even though he doesn't tell you.

"Oh my god," Karkat hisses as you get off the bus three stops later. You aren't exactly sure what he's hissing at, your eyes are too busy adjusting to the light. When they do though, your face breaks out in a mischievous grin.

"We are not passing this up dude, we are going _in_," you tell Karkat, tugging him quite forcefully into the conveniently placed sex store. You have to overemphasize your excitement a bit about the store, as you've never been the most outgoing one when it comes to sex. Sex stores make you a little nervous because of the variety of things they sell and the pressure it adds to try something new. You've never been the greatest at trying new things.

"Of _course_ it had to be a fucking _sex store_. It couldn't just be a Hot Topic or a Walmart, it had to be a sex store," Karkat complains, trying in vain to resist you. Obviously he doesn't succeed.

"No, really man, we could probably use some shit to spice up our sex lives anyways." You jokingly hold up a "sexy cat girl" outfit to yourself, batting your eyes flirtatiously at Karkat and asking,

"How does this one look, _babe_?"

"Don't call me that! And put that the fuck down, Dave, or so help me-"

"Yeah, yeah," you answer, cutting Karkat off. You give Karkat a quick kiss, if only to embarrass him, to which his face turns a dark shade of red. You put the outfit back though, and bring Karkat over to another section. You pick up a box, examining it, and hold it out to Karkat. You felt serious about this shit, and of course you were going to read the boxes before buying the stuff. You have to know everything it has the potential to do, after all.

"This looks like your style, I could imagine you having a lot of fun with this," you comment as you hold it to the troll. Karkat shoves the item away, hissing at you halfheartedly. It's only halfhearted because you know you're right, he's totally into that.

"Strider, let's get the fuck out of here, I don't want to spend another goddamned minute in this godforsaken store!"

"Someone's getting _flustered_," you tease, but Karkat just pushes your face away, huffing. You roll your eyes behind your shades, reminding Karkat, "Dude we've gotta buy something from here anyways, might as well make it something we'll actually _use_. Rules are rules, man."

"Forget your fucking rules, I don't _want_ anything from here. This is embarrassing! We don't _need_ anything from here."

"You big liar," you accuse, glancing at other items in the store. Maybe Karkat doesn't want anything, but _you_ do. Wasting money on sex toys is just fine, but wasting money on sex toys you won't use? That's just senseless.

Karkat's eyes widen at the next box you toss him, and you can tell he likes it by the way his pupils dilate. His voice is kind of not there when he tries to speak.

"Dave.."

"We are _so_ getting that, no complaining, no excuses. I'm buying it. Right now."

You swear Karkat's face is never going to go back to it's original color.

You are of course ID'd at the register, but that's okay. You brought your ID with you, and the purchase goes smoothly. You ask them _not_ to bag it, and all the while Karkat is still holding the eyeball. It's a rather odd combination of items, so you don't blame the looks you receive on the street as you leave the store.

The game goes on as such, taking buses and buying useless junk. One item you feel proud of is the first _Nintendogs_ game you managed to get from Gamestop. That shit's practically retro these days. Another item had to be that "Only Seen On TV!" step stool. Why anyone would need such a ridiculous step stool is beyond you, but you buy it anyways. It's funny.

"How does this game even end?" Karkat asks you, grumbling as he stoops down to pick up a fallen item. "And why the fuck couldn't you have at least asked for a bag from _one_ of these stores?"

"Because everyone has gotta see what we buy, dude. I guess I didn't really think of how it ends? Maybe when the transfers expire?"

"In that case, the game ends in 10 minutes."

"Damn. Well you gotta admit it's been fun, right?"

"If your definition of fun is buying creepy ass shit and getting looks from people on the street, then no, you should really rethink your definition of fun," Karkat snaps. You know there's no hostile tone behind it, but whatever.

You actually snort at Karkat, playing along with him and snarking, "Nah, I think someone's just grumpy because he wants to rush home and play with his new _toy_."

"Shut up, I do not!" Karkat defends himself, throwing a package of glow-in-the-dark shoelaces at you.

"Do too."

The troll doesn't reply, and you feel as if you've won this round.

"So how do you feel about taking a cab back?"

"Sounds perfectly fucking fine to me," Karkat answers.

You make him hold the shit you were holding, much to his discontent, while you pull out your phone to make a taxi call. It doesn't take too long for the taxi to arrive, and soon enough you're hauling shit into the cab and booking it back home. The driver doesn't even comment on your items, which is actually pretty rad of him. He's a stereotypical middle aged man, so you would have expected some judgement from him, but none comes. You prefer it that way, anyways.

You and Karkat have just about made it to your shared dorm when you are stopped by none other than your friend Sollux in the hallway.

"Hey, nice loot," he comments, smirking as he looks the two of you up and down. Karkat's face flushes again, but you keep yours straight.

"Dude, tell me about it. Someday I'll have to take you out to play the City Bus Game."

"I'll look forward to that," Sollux smirks, patting you on the back.

"Yeah man, anyone would kill for a day with the Legendary Strider."

Sollux nods in agreement. "Looks like you got some..._useful_ stuff. Have fun with that!" he snickers, gesturing to a few of the items.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure they'll come in handy," you reply, nudging Karkat beside you and waggling your eyebrows. Sollux laughs again before offering a goodbye and leaving you and Karkat to your own devices. You give him a wave goodbye in return while your matesprit glares at the carpeted floor, and finally turn to let yourself and Karkat back in the dorm. As soon as you're in, Karkat drops his armful of things on the ground, causing them to scatter and ricochet off of each other, and appears to storm off into the bedroom, shutting the door rather loudly behind him.

As you stoop down to pick the dropped items up, you notice that one particular purchase is missing.

Oh Karkat, that bastard. You smirk, abandoning the things on the floor and following Karkat instead. There's a high chance you'll be playing more "games" than ones involving city buses tonight.

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**So maybe if I feel like writing some plotless smut later on, this will receive a second chapter ahahah...**


End file.
